Amen, sista! (aka break the china!)

Truer words were never spoken (or written) then what my friend Michelle said in her blog. Go check it out.

I love this face.

Not Me! Monday

Its another rousing rendition of the little ditty we have all come to know as ... Not Me! Monday ...

I assure you I did not read a scary book last night that had me thinking every creak was a monster on the stairs. Laugh if you must but I challenge you to read "The House of Lost Souls" by F.G. Cottam and not hear things going bump in the night.

I did not allow the kids to sleep in well past the normal wake up time. And after doing this I did not have to drive my son to school. Where I did not curse the debacle that is the carpool lane.

I did not go to Marshalls to buy something for my husband only to end up with something for Molly and I as well.

I do not plan to tell the kids it is bedtime earlier than normal and take advantage of the rain making it dark early.

So what are you NOT going to do?

Good News Bad News

Good news?
1.) I got to see college friends I haven't seen in years.
2.) I got a new (to me) minivan.

Bad news?
1.) I haven't caught up on my sleep from doing #1 in the good news list.
2.) I got a minivan and therefore will never possibly be cool again. Ever.

Make A Fall "Wreath" (Now with picture!)

Totally stealing this idea from Domestic Dork and making one ...

Make A Fall "Wreath"

She's cute ...

And she knows it!

Light a candle on October 15th ...

Nature Channel.

I am not much of an outside person -- what with all the bugs and fresh air. Jake is like me in that respect. Molly, on the other hand, has already asked me at 8:30 a.m. this morning (before my second cup of coffee) if we can go out. She wants to be outside any chance she can get. I was in a giving mood yesterday so I caved to her incessant begging to go outside. We then had this impromptu lesson on worms and toads.

The world's largest worm discovered in our garage.

We relocated it to the flower bed (or weed bed)

Then we found a toad in our garage. We moved it outside too. After seeing if the dog would eat it or carry it around on her back. She wouldn't.

All in all, it was a good day for us and the frog.

Last one standing.

You know how when you buy a certain car, you suddenly start seeing it all over the road. It is like everyone and their mother's aunt's dog's sitter is driving one.

Well I have discovered the same is for pregnant women. I am probably a tad feeling sorry for myself. But it seems like I can hold my arms out without hitting a pregnant belly. College friend, due on my original due date. Sister-in-law, due on my adjusted due date.

I'd be almost 12 weeks -- ready for the second trimester with a little pouch and the beginnings of movement. Instead I am in the middle of my first post-miscarriage AF with little more in my belly than some Indian food (albeit good Indian food). 

I am trying to move away from posting about the miscarriage all the time and having that become the focus of this blog. But please excuse this little foray into self-pity. I swear its momentary.

News Flash!

Today is Wednesday, not Thursday.

There is no point in wasting precious brain cells worrying over the recycling and garbage that needs to be taken out for Garbage Day (which is Thursday) when today is actually Wednesday. Your husband will look at you funny when you tell him to take out the garbage because -- you guessed it -- today is Wednesday.

Gonna be a long rest of the week.

Not Me! Monday

There is no way that I ran out of eggs and had to drag myself to the store before our first MOPS meeting of the new year to get my "homemade" muffins. And I certainly didn't tell a co-leader that maybe I didn't want to be a leader ... before the first meeting even started.

I certainly don't have 10 books from the library on my nightstand ... and I didn't add more to it this afternoon. I also didn't think to myself that we need to find a new branch because we've read all the good books. Its not like we read six books every night.

And I am not going to look at a new car this evening that would officially make me a "Mini-van Mom". Not me, I am too cool for that.

So what did you not do today?

So many questions ...

"I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty."

Book of Ruth, 1:21

When I get to Heaven, I will have so many questions for God. At the top of the list will be why do babies and little children have to die. My dear friend Katina lost her long-awaited daughter Rachel at 26 weeks. I don't understand and I am trying to rest in knowing that He does.

Please, if you can, keep Katina and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

You can laugh if you want to ...

Jake kept complaining he didn't feel good. He said his stomach ached and he did look a little pale. We were driving home and he says he has to vomit. Which he does -- all down the side of the car. After he is done, he says "Okay I can eat pizza now!"

Then we get home and the dog gobbles her food and drinks her water too fast. She makes a beeline to the door which means she is gonna spew. She gets outside, does her thing. I decide I want to hose it away. Start gagging as I do it and then gag so hard that I pee.

So there ya go.

P.S. Totally unrelated but when writing the title I was immediately reminded of this song ...

Back in action

Internet was down for over 24 hours. Four houses on the same street with the same problem. Cable company says it was just a coincidence. Yeah, sure ... the cable fairy strikes again!

Not Me! Monday

I did not shower and get dressed, get Molly dressed and head to the Y for her ballet class ... that isn't until Friday. Nope, wasn't me.

I did not tell Molly if she asked me one more time about when school started, I was going to lock her in her room forever. I'd never be that mean.

I am not looking forward to going to the library without kids because it means I can leisurely look at books without worrying about what the kids are doing. That's just plain silly talk!

What about you -- what did you most especially not do today?

About What Was Lost

One in five pregnancies end in loss.

That means the chance of you knowing someone who has had a miscarriage is high. Yet most women suffer alone because miscarriage is often a silent grief. There is only room in the pregnancy picture for happy women who go on to deliver happy babies.

But that is not always reality. About What Was Lost is a collection of essays from women who have experienced a miscarriage. The essays are powerful and ugly and real. I found myself wanting to underline almost every paragraph because what the writer said so greatly resounded with me. From the descriptions of the clinical and detached manner of some obstetricians (I am sorry but I don't want to hear my experience described as an "abortion" regardless of what your textbooks call it) to the people who mean well but hurt much with their cliched comments ("at least you know you can get pregnant").

Even if you haven't experienced a loss, I think you can take something from this book. Perhaps it will help you better understand a friend's grief.

Its ok, you can touch me ...

I am not a curse. I will not bring you bad luck.

I need not be treated like a social pariah.

Yes, I had a miscarriage.

Regardless of what you believe, I believe I lost a baby. What I saw in my ultrasound was a tiny beating heart in a tiny life. A life lost. I have three children now. Two here and one in Heaven.

Talk to me about it. I don't mind. Don't talk to me about it. I don't mind.

No, I am not over it yet. I won't ever be. I may not be crying. Or I may be.

You don't get to decide when my grief ends. I do.

Take heed ...

Little known cooking advice from Julia Child: Do not leave dinner on counter and leave 90-pound Lab alone with it. Half your dinner will disappear.

The seal has been broken ...

I got my first call of the year from school - and it is only the second day. Fortunately, it was a minor lunch issue BUT I can't tell you how my stomach clenched seeing the familiar number show up in the caller ID. Its a reminder that a.) I don't have a "typical" student in the school system and b.) there will be more calls in the next 178 days of school.

First day of school!

Here is to a good year for Jacob!

Explain it to me like I am stupid ...

Why is there uproar over President Obama speaking to students? I understand it is a political move to gain support for him -- but isn't that what presidents do? And really why should it make me upset that he wants to encourage kids to stay in school. The horror of it!

How was your summer?

School starts again on Tuesday. Summer will officially be over for the kids and I. So when I look back at this summer, what will I remember? A cooler than usual summer. Sleeping in and staying up late. Our annual trip to Myrtle Beach with friends. Finding a shark's tooth in the sand. Evening drinks with the neighbors. Swims in the pool. The absolute joy of seeing a positive pregnancy test. The crushing heart break of seeing your little one's heart stop beating before their first breath.

So much good and so much bad in just over two months. I wouldn't change a second of it all.

Quite possibly, I have an issue ...

In one year, I have read about 170 novels.