A bun in the oven ...

That would be me.

But in the typical fashion that is my life, its not going well. My progesterone is really low (you need that to make the baby stick until the placenta takes over at 12 weeks). I had one incident of spotting but that is all. I am on some lovely supplements three times a day that make me want to rip off everyone's head while I gnaw on their exposed spinal column (really, it is that bad). And apparently my hCG levels aren't increasing as rapidly as the OB would like them. (If my body won't cooperate with me, why'd she think it would for her?) So at this point two things could happen: I will miscarry or I will go on to have a normal -- well normal for me -- pregnancy. I'd much prefer the latter.

If you have some time, could you send up some positive thoughts, prayers and wishes for me and the bean?

I love this ...

I love the groom rolling out from the bridal party. I love how he meets the bride halfway down the aisle to walk together. Its cheesy but fun -- better than a stiff affair full of the usual ho-hum. And I bet they had a heck of a great reception!

I'm hungry ... and lazy

First things first, if I am the only one in the house not eating ice cream, how do I end up having to clean up the ice cream eaters mess? Hmm? HMM?

Ok, on to other things ... I have been on a bit of a genre-specific reading kick lately. I can't get enough of memoirs (or even fiction novels) infused with recipes. Right now, its Molly Wizenberg's A Homemade Life. Really, is there a truer statement than "oozy chocolate is hard to beat." I love the quick, concise narratives that lead into each recipe. And unlike Julia Child, she has yet to espouse the wonders of sheep brains. (After reading Julie and Julia by Julie Power and My Life in France by Julia Child, I have little interest in French cooking. Merci beaucoup.)

By the by, Wizenberg had a blog before she had a book and you can check her out at Orangette. Even the picture at the top of her blog makes me drool. Mercy!

So now you know the hunger part of this post. The lazy part is just that -- I have been too lazy to post for some time. As I mentioned I was overwhelmed and feeling blah (which now makes more sense to me but that's for another post). We were also out of town visiting my family across the state -- a trip the kids and I will be making again tomorrow for less exciting reasons. Our dog, our first child, has to have surgery to remove a cancerous growth on her side. She is 11 years old but in otherwise perfect health (really, the vet said she was perfect before we decided to aspirate the pesky growth). So Tuesday she will have her surgery on the east side of the state where Alli has been vacationing with my Mom for several months (another long story for another post).



So that's my story and I am sticking to it.

Overwhelmed

I haven't felt much like posting this week. I feel anxious and overwhelmed for no good reason particularly since I have no pressing plans (unless you count the laundry which has now taken me a week to complete -- and not because there was tons of it). The problem I have (maybe everyone does) is that when I feel overwhelmed, I don't press forward. I go into the previously mentioned sloth mode and do nothing. It means the kids are fed but otherwise left to their own devices (TV and computer being a favorite). I can literally feel the anxiety like a small engine humming under my skin. Its not a fun way to be but this too shall pass.

Vacation after vacation

Why is that when you go on a "relaxing" vacation, you need another vacation to recover from the vacation? Is it the mounds of laundry that pile up? The suitcases that need to be unpacked? The mail that needs to be sorted? Errands to be run?

I dunno. Whatever it is ... I need a vacation after my vacation!

Today I am planning to do nothing outside of the occasional load of laundry. There are lots of things I should do but nothing I will do.

If you look for me today, this is what you will see:

Happy 4th of July!

From the deck at our condo in Myrtle Beach (look closely and you can see the ocean behind the kids)...

Beached out

Life on the beach ...

Need I say more?

Perhaps maybe this ...

Free Paint

Go get you some: Free Paint

Happy Father's Day, Mom!

I am 33. It has been 15 years since I legally became an adult. Therefore, I find it ironic (and highly appropriate) that this weekend my Mom received a child support check from my dad. Happy Father's Day, Mom! You certainly deserve the honor ... and the money.

QOTD: Future careers for your kids

If you were to guess right now, what would you guess your child(ren)'s future career will be?

Jacob will be an astrophysicist or something related to space that doesn't involve direct contact with people and lots of computer time. He will probably volunteer to be in the first colony on Mars - as long as their is Internet access, cable TV and chocolate milk.

Molly will be the dictator of a small third world country where she can make everyone simultaneously worship AND hate her. Or perhaps she will be the next Anna Wintour (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Wintour). Either way, she will rule.

Autism Acceptance or Autism Eradication?

"It is incomprehensible to me how a parent can advocate for awareness while making every attempt to eradicate autism. While they are advocating for modalities that allegedly recover their children from autism, what does this do to the efforts of those of us who are simultaneously advocating for awareness and social acceptance?"

From Adonya Wong at Healing ... Through the Eyes of Autism

Wings to fly ...

Tonight, Jacob has the opportunity to spend the night at camp. He, surprisingly, is wanting to do it. He tends to be a bit of a "mama's boy" at times -- he cries if I am not there to read to him before bed. So this is a big step -- dare I say a glimpse of his burgeoning independence? Ack. I don't know if I am ready to let him go. I know its cliche to say but I swear it was just yesterday that he was just a chubby toddler. And what about his promise to live with me forever and sleep in my bed until he is 25? (Yes, I know .. its a little weird ... but he was so earnest in saying it.)

Jacob and I have an extremely close relationship. Perhaps its because he was my first child and for almost three years it was just him. He was the one who divided my life into pre-motherhood and motherhood. Perhaps its our shared interests. We both love computers and reading. We can both be stubborn and will only dig in deeper the more you push us.

I really don't know what it is but I find his growing up to be so hard. I want him to find his own way but at the same time I don't want to let go of him. I don't plan to become one of those obsessive Moms -- I promise I will push him out of the nest long before he is 25. But sometimes I wish I could stop time for just a minute so that we can cuddle longer and read more stories together. Because today I got a glimpse of that not-so-distant future when I will no longer be the center of his universe.

(And this is the post my future daughter-in-law will point to when she tells him why she can't stand me, LOL.)

Your Love is Strong ...

The first time I heard the song "Your Love is Strong" by Jon Foreman, I was instantly attracted to the raw emotion of it. Its a great song and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

The post in which you suddenly become insanely jealous of my life ...

My kids are gone all day every day this week at camp. From 7:40 a.m. to 5:20 p.m., I am blissfully and totally ALONE.

My plans so far are to do a lot of nothing followed by another heaping scoop of more nothing. Well, I might throw in some reading (Pretty in Plaid by Jen Lancaster - funniest writer EVER), movie watching (Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns) and I will exercise. But only when I want to exercise and definitely not early in the morning.

I might even nap. Naps are my friend and I haven't hung out with my friend in a few weeks.

Did I mention Dave is gone all week too? (And if you are a stalker or a murderer or robber, don't think this is an open invite to come over -- I have mad kung-fu skills AND I am from Detroit. I could hurt you. Bad.)

I would keep blogging but I think it constitutes as doing something -- and that's just not on the agenda this week. ;)

Are you waiting?

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
Psalm 130:5-6 (NIV)

We are all waiting on something -- the laundry to be done, the new job to come, the economy to change, our relationships to get better and countless other things. If you know me well enough, you have an idea of what I am waiting for right now. Sometimes, as my friend's Dad used to say, the minutes seem like hours. The tricky part of waiting, especially when it involves something major, is to remain faithful that God has it under control. We start to bargain with Him, plead with him and otherwise question His perfect timing. Sometimes we even reject Him and try to handle things on our own. I suppose in a way that is what makes us human -- the constant desire to be in control of all things. I wish I could wave a magic wand and everything I wait on would appear.

Then again, I wonder if part of the joy in it finally happening is because of the waiting.

The little green monster

What do you do when jealousy rears its ugly head and sets up camp in your heart? I have to admit, I am struggling with a bit of it myself right now. I've gotten myself into a situation (emotionally speaking) that I said I would not. Instead of lifting someone up, I am wanting to knock them down. What do you when Mr. Green comes to your house? I've prayed to God to remove the sin from my heart but I have to admit, its still lurking.

I noticed ...

I get a lot more hits when I tick people off. Or at least talk about people ticking me off. Guess its true -- drama rules. I need to think of something new and dramatic to write about. For now, I will leave you with some pictures of the kids from our trip to the zoo. Moments after these pictures were taken, the kids freaked out ... because well 100 birds is really flippin' freaky. Not to mention the exponential potential for getting pooped on.

My new love ... don't tell Dave!

I have a new love in my life. This love makes me feel pretty. It knows exactly what I need and want. Even better, its sitting right next to me and its NUDE ... I am even willing to share a picture of this new love in my life:



WAIT! As lovely as the model may be, she is not my new love. No, my heart belongs to the tank top she is wearing ... the Yummie Tummie tank. (Mine is nude color.)

I heard some buzz about these tanks on a few blogs -- they promise to rid you of your muffin top (without plastic surgery or a crash diet). I had to try it. Despite working out six days a week and watching what I eat, I can't seem to get rid of the muffin top. So when it came in the mail this morning, I was eager to try it on.

And guess what ... its all true! I am wearing it right now and the muffin top is hiding and the tummy is flat. Now I don't recommend you forgo a healthy lifestyle for a Yummie Tummie but if you are like me and need a little extra help, this is the product for you.