If Dante were alive ...

I think he would have added a tenth circle of Hell called: "Watching a cartoon based on the game Candyland with your daughter."



Truly terrifying.

Jacob Einstein

They want to move Jacob into third grade next year (from first) so they can start him in the gifted and talented program. He has already completed all of the first and second grade reading and math curriculum. He took a standardized national tests and he was in the high 80th percentile nationally for second graders.

This all hinges on us helping him to get his behavior under control. They'd like us to trial him on an ADHD med (something we had on the back burner) to see if it helps with his impulsiveness. Since he has the academics down, the only thing holding him back is his behavior.

My head feels a little whirly right now -- its a lot to take in. I skipped second grade and I found it hard in terms of "rites of passage" moments (driver's license, turning 21, etc.). His birthday is earlier so it won't be as hard for him but still. Do I want to do that to him? At the same time, he is bored at school and they are doing everything they can to challenge him. Do I want him to try meds? We have noticed his impulsiveness increasing lately. This might help at school and at home.

AHHHHHHHHHH!

I really need to pray, pray, pray (and you can pray for us too!)

It's funny right ...

It's so funny when your kid tells his Sunday school teacher that she is a "sadistic kid hater". Funny, right? Start laughing and telling me its funny or I MIGHT JUST HAVE A PARENTING BREAKDOWN.

Ok, thankyouverymuch.

Get your kid a pet ...

I really recommend you get your child a pet. Its such an amazing and educational experience for them to have one. We have two hamsters named Princess and Nibbles (and technically a dog but she prefers my Mom to us -- go figure). Since owning these sweet little rodents, my children have learned a lot of useful life lessons. For example, they have also learned about their olfactory sense when walking into a room with a cage that hasn't been cleaned in a two weeks. My kids have acquired colorful language skills while watching their mother attempt to remove the hamsters from the cage. They have learned household skills such as vacuuming up teeny little poop from the floor. And last, but not least, they have learned first aid skills when the sweet little hamsters decide to bite their mother when she attempts to remove them from their stinky cages to clean them.

One lesson we have yet to experience is the circle of life. However, if the hamster give mother a hard time again, she will feed them to a neighborhood cat. And then we will have that lesson completed.

Closed for the season ...

Molly, upon seeing the empty parking lot at our church, remarked: "Church must be closed for the season." Apparently. she sees church as something akin to an amusement park. Our last church was pretty large and often referred to as "Six Flags over Jesus". So maybe that's where she got it from. (I'm kidding ... no hate mail from my friends at Southeast.) Also, as my friend pointed out (Hi Katie), we were going to have her vision tested so maybe that was the problem. What she saw as empty, was actually a full parking lot.

All this nonsense brings me to one point: Aren't you glad that God is never closed for the season? His love and grace is available to us 24 hours a day and 365 days out of the year. He never takes a vacation and He never rests. We are welcome to visit him anytime and anywhere.

"... indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep." (Psalm 121:4)

Go Orange for Stellan!

Stellan is in surgery as I type this post. Many people are putting on orange today to show their support for the little guy. Lacking any orange in my closet, I went with a picture:



Check out MckMama's blog for updates on the surgery: My Charming Kids

Hmm ...

Should I be offended that of all the men at the mall today, the one who tries to pick me up is an old drunk man? I mean, I didn't want to be picked up but still ... Maybe he could smell the alcoholism in my genes and thought we'd hit it off. He was generous enough to ask if I wanted to live with him in the treehouse located in the kid's play area. As he pointed out, we'd be right next to ice cream stand (which I'd like to point out was actually a pretzel stand).

Me! ME! MEEEE!

Is it ever OK to be selfish?

We are lead to caste off our own wants and needs to help others. We teach our children to share. Selfish is not something we want to promote.

So why this serious question today? Because I am feeling like I want to be totally selfish. Dave has been gone all week. I have spent more time outside than I normally would (being of the not so enamored with outside person). I have tried to be fun Mom to help the time pass for both the kids and myself.

Today, I want the day off. I want to do nothing but sit on my duff. I want to read a book, play on the 'puter and basically just shirk off my responsibilities. I don't want to be entertainer, comforter, feeder or anything else that requires my focus to be on anything but me.

So there ya go. Today, I am selfish.

Call CPS ...

I am the worst mother ever. I made my son go outside and play for thirty minutes ... in beautiful, warm and sunny weather. I should have let him waste the entire afternoon in the basement on the computer. That's what a good mother would do.

Amazing!

I hate to drop so many YouTube videos in my blog in one week but you have to see this amazing woman.

Susan Boyle

Not a single person in the audience expected THAT voice to come out of her. I think I even wrote her off expecting it to be a laugh. Instead, she proved that beauty is not on the exterior but instead what comes from your soul. God has blessed her with a voice that is awe-inspiring. Amazing, just amazing.

A day late and a dollar short ...

... but Happy Easter anyway!

We spent the past few days visiting our friends in Kentucky. I'd like to say the weather was better than Michigan's weather but that'd be a lie. We did have a great time in spite of it. I have yet to get my head straight after being gone for a week. So I am going to bow out now and leave you with this video. I hope you all had a blessed Easter.

And because I am mean ...

Here's an annoying earworm for you ...

Death by chlorine ...

The family is at Great Wolf Lodge in Ohio for Spring Break. There is enough chlorine in the water to kill any germs or any future germs that are considering existing. Can you be overchlorinated?



Dave took the kids to the water by himself and I am chillaxin peace. Ah, this is what a real vacation feels like.

Oh by the way ...

Did I tell you my son decided to "water" the pine tree out front? Might not of been half as bad if my neighbor didn't then post her Facebook status as:

"... just saw the funniest thing...a neighbor boy was peeing next to the pine tree! Hmmm...I wonder who it was...? Jenifer, do you have any ideas?"

See, I told you we were crazy. I will defend myself by saying it was not on my watch. Dave gets the credit for allowing this mishap.

Getting back to my roots ...

The Polish Ghetto Queen is taking the Prince and Princess back to her homeland this weekend -- aka Detroit. I am sure the neighbors will be happy that the craziness factor will be reduced when we leave.

I'm just saying ...

If your whole focus is on "curing" or "recovering" your child and you make mention of them being "damaged" all the time ... How do you think that makes your child feel?

Me, I prefer to see my son as wonderful and unique. Exactly the person God intended him to be. (And cute even when he makes silly faces ...)



"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13

Happy Mail!

I ordered a pink beaded bracelet tester from Hooked on Homemade and it came in the mail today. I think its the perfect look for Spring -- earthy and delicate.

Three Things Thursday

There are three things I need to get done today:

1. Go to the library. I've got things to return and holds to pick up. Yesterday, the library and I were not getting along. The customer service there is not optimal and I got a little perturbed (enough to write a complaint email). But I love reading too much to stay mad for a long time.

2. Go to the post office to mail a present (part of a swap that is long overdue to be mailed) and an Ebay sale (three Hanna Andersson dresses that would be more like crop tops for Molly now).

3. Wash clothes for our upcoming trips. The kids and I are going to visit my Mom this weekend. We will come home for a day and then head south to Great Wolf Lodge for two days. The kids (and I) are excited for our first trip there. Jake asked me last night what the first thing we could do there was and I told him anything he wants. :)

Wordless Wednesday

I hate writing clever titles.

What do you do when you start reading a book and it doesn't grab you? It used to be that I felt guilty unless I finished it. Nowadays, I cut myself some slack and move on. I've got a pile of books to read so there is no sense in wasting time on one that doesn't grab me. Most recently I tried reading Ten Year Nap by Meg Wolitzer. I read through 60 pages and I still wasn't interested in the characters. I think part of my issue is that Wolitzer uses minimal spoken dialogue and instead relies heavily on internal dialogue. After awhile, I felt like I was reading one long run on sentence. I am hoping the next book in the pile will hold my interest to the end.

Hear our prayer ...

Lord,

I am lifting up Stellan and MckMama to you today. I am praying that you can heal his tiny heart and give him rest. Please bring his family peace especially MckMama who has tirelessly been by his side. Please let her and her family feel the embrace of thousands of people lifting them up in prayers. Stellan needs another miracle and You are the God of miracles. I am asking for You to do one in his life. Ultimately, I know Your will and Your plans are far greater than anything we can imagine. The plans You have for Stellan are great no matter what they may be.

Amen.

Behold the Amazing Mommy!

Molly thinks its amazing that I can predict what will be on the channel before it actually comes on. One day she will realize there is a guide but for now I like to keep her thinking I am all that. And a bag of rice.

P.S.

I got my copy of Heather Armstrong's book "It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita". I am pretty behind in my reading list but I am super excited to read her book. For those of you not familiar with her, (and you like funny, and honest writers) go visit her blog at dooce.com to acquaint yourself.

This is funny, right? Right!?!

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I drive both kids to school. We drop off Jacob and then head to Molly's preschool. The schools are about 10 minutes apart, so not too bad. About halfway to Molly's school, it dawns on me that we are heading to Molly's school. Not Jacob's school. I forgot to take him to school! He was quietly reading his "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" book in the back seat. Now Jacob being late can throw off his entire day especially if he thinks it was his fault. So I made a point to say how funny it was and that it was totally my fault. He was more than happy to tell everyone we saw walking in that it was my fault (including the vice principal). Oh well, all's well that ends well.

Wordless Wednesday

Stellan's Gallery

Stellan is still very ill. As another blogger said, "Let's storm the gates of heaven on Stellan's behalf." Continue to send up your prayers on Stellan's behalf.

This is not the first time Stellan has suffered from heart issues. While he was still in the womb, MckMama was told he would die. During that time, many of the MckMama followers decided to make a Stellan Name gallery so he could feel the world surrounding him in prayer. Lauren, of Knowing Norrah, has decided its time for another Stellan gallery.

Go over and do your own entry for the Stellan Name Gallery! Let Mckmama and Stellan know we are all praying for them.

Baby Stellan needs prayers ...

Please visit MckMamma's blog My Charming Kids and let her know you are praying for Baby Stellan.

Oops!

Did anyone see (or hear) President Obama's gaffe on the Tonight Show? If not, he referred to his bad bowling being like Special Olympics.



I really, really think he just made a bad choice. He is a wonder with words and this is so out of character for him. I would go so far as to say I have made lighthearted remarks about Jacob's autism. I don't do it to demean him (or anyone else with autism). In fact, his idiosyncrasies are something I admire and I think will make him an awesome scientist one day. So maybe this is like when someone talks about your family -- you can do it, but if someone else does all heck breaks loose.

What do you think?

Snore!

Look (and listen)! I birthed me a grizzly bear:

How I spent my week ...

This picture pretty much sums it up:




Molly has been sick since Monday afternoon. It sucks because we haven't been able to do anything (and the weather was glorious). Of course, I imagine it sucks a lot more for her since she's the one spending most of the day with her head in the toilet. I have to give her credit -- outside of one instance of puking on the neighbor's driveway, she makes it to the toilet every time. Impressive. I seem to recall that when I was her age, I never made it the two steps from my bedroom to the bathroom without decorating the wall. (Sorry Mom and Grandma.)

Did I mention if it get two feet from her, she freaks out. She just came out of her Kipper video induced stupor and realized I was gone. Bye!

Not ME! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not have a sick boy yesterday and now a sick girl this afternoon. I did not let sick boy stay home from school to only have him be totally symptom free. I did not then take both kids to a candy store.


(To be continued ...)

The sick girl did not vomit all over my neighbor's driveway while she was barbecuing. She has not since thrown up two more times.



I am not feeling sorry for myself because while my neighbors all very nice to me, it doesn't go any deeper than the occasional chat. I am not really missing my friends in Kentucky.

I did not just realize that my shoes I wore today made my feet stink. Hmm, maybe stinky feet and vomiting kids are why I am not so popular.

And I most assuredly am not going to go have a glass of w(h)ine.

Free is good ...

In honor of her 100th post, my friend Michelle is giving away a free t-shirt from her own awesome line of shirts. Stop and visit her! And to think that all you get here is my undying love and devotion.

Call me a prude ...

But nothing ruins a good book for me faster than gratuitous and overly described sex scenes.

That's a nap!

Molly was nice enough to let me take a nap this afternoon. She was going to look at books and watch the TV in my room while I caught a few minutes of shut eye. And I guess, technically, you could say I did nap. I was laying down and my eyes did in fact shut. However, every time I got to that sweet sleep place, Molly decided it was imperative to ask me a question. Oh well.

My baby turned seven this weekend. He promises he will still live with me until he is 25 years old and still want to sleep in my bed.

I have been thinking lately about being a mother and how much it isn't what I expected. A better way to say it is that I am surprised at my reaction to motherhood. When I was pregnant with my first, I had some expectations for what it would be like to have a child. Of course, a 10-month battle with colic and a two-month premature nervous system pretty much eliminated those fantasies. But even that didn't really surprise me as much as my own reaction to being a Mom. I thought I would slide into the role with no looking back. Now don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I will protect them like a Mama Bear does her cubs. But sometimes I catch myself looking back into the past and wishing for that freedom. There are times when motherhood fits me like a too-tight dress, squashing the person on the inside. Am I overly selfish or is it natural to feel this way? I see some people who completely lose themselves in their role as Mom and I feel a little jealous. I wish it came that easy for me. You'd think after seven years, it would. Still, everyday, I find myself struggling a bit against what *I* want and what my role as mother demands.

Prayers

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy ..."

Prayers go out to the families of those lost in the plane crash in Buffalo, NY.

Probably not a wise choice ...

It is probably not a good idea when you're husband is out of town and you have an active imagination ... to read a book about Vlad the Impaler and vampires. I am reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. It a very subtly creepy book but creepy nonetheless.

At least I haven't locked myself and the kids in the bedroom ... yet.

Not Me ...

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not contemplate setting my alarm clock ahead an hour so I could get the kids to sleep earlier last night.

I did not go to the grocery store to get milk and walk out having spent $60.

I did not bribe my daughter to nap (really I didn't but I am about to do it).

I did not consider letting my son stay home from school so I could sleep an extra 30 minutes.

What about you? What did you not do today?

I am just saying ...

It's a little weird when your daughter pretends her gum is pleading "Don't eat me" before she pops it in her mouth.

Ida Interdonato, 1920-2009

Dave's Grandma passed away this morning. While we weren't totally blindsided, it still came as a shock. We were still hoping she would get better and go home. The only comfort is knowing she is in Heaven with her husband. So while we grieve, there is a sense of comfort in knowing she is resting in God's presence.



"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Biggest Loser

I am doing a Biggest Loser inspired competition with some women from my MOPS group. I was really spurred on when I went to the doctor and my weight was hovering in the pregnancy weight area -- and I am not pregnant. Of course, my scale at home was kinder and I choose to focus on THAT weight. Still I need to drop some poundage so here I am almost a week into it. Instead of following a "diet", I am trying to just eat sensibly. If I go to a function and there are treats, I will have one instead of five. No seconds at meal time. And major cutback on the soda.

So wish me luck and slap my hand if you see me reaching for an extra cookie.

Grandma update

Got this email from my FIL ...

Hi,

I dropped Mom at the hospital early this morning and went in to see Grandma for a short time. They have replaced the stomach drain tube with a smaller feeding tube. When I left a respiratory nurse was beginning a two hour test to see if they can take her off the ventilator. The start of it appeared to me to be going well.

Grandma is very alert but of course cannot speak because of the tubes. She recognizes everyone and waved goodbye to be me as I left to go to work.

That's all I know at the moment. Will keep you posted.

Love,

Dad

Prayers for healing

Dave's Grandma is in the ICU in Buffalo with heart failure. We don't have a lot of details at this point but we sure could use prayers. She is 88 years old and Dave's only living grandparent. We just saw her a week ago and she could looked good. Life is so tenuous and fragile. All we can do is pray that God heals her ...

I hit you because I love you ...

So sayeth my sweet little daughter.

Three Things on Thursday

Three random items from the cluttered files of my mind ...

1. As you can see in post below, I lost my keys. Now I know that I had them Monday because I drove home from a friend's house. So they made it home. After that, its anybody's guess as to where they went.

2. Here are the stacks of books I currently have out from the library:


I just added six more to my hold list so the stack should grow in the next few days.

3. I had hoped today was a snow day for the simple fact that I wanted to go back to sleep. It wasn't. Darn these Michigan people and their ability to handle snow. In Kentucky, we'd have been out of school for a week.

Anyone seen my keys?

Yeah, neither have I.

Can't argue that one ...

Jake: I don't want stew for dinner.
Me: Well I don't want kids.
Molly: Well you have to because we already have beds here.

Mom 0, Molly 1

Where'd she hear that?

Molly is telling her toys to "focus, focus, focus!"

Snow Day!

We got 11 inches of snow today. The last day of school before Christmas vacation was canceled. We are expecting more on Saturday night but how much is still up in the air. I should be weather woman -- you only have to be right 95 percent of the time to keep your job.

Three Things This Thursday

The challenge has been thrown by Michelle at Psalm 104:24 to post three random things on every Thursday. It can be recipes, craft ideas, good books ... whatever you want to write about.

So here is my contribution this week: Three things sitting on my computer desk.

1. An old cellphone I am sending to Cellphone Trade-Ins for a whopping $4.
2. National Geographic 3-D glasses (they belong to Jacob).
3. A stack of pictures to be added to a calender I have been coerced into making for my MIL. Which I am sure will be as graciously received as all of her other gifts with the very monotone "Oh, that's nice."

Not Me Monday!

I did not wake up this morning to no power and a windchill in the negative zone. I did not fall down the stairs for the second time in two weeks (at least this was the first part of the stairs, not the second because I like variety) I did not get a call as I was walking out the door to say school was delayed two hours. I did not drag my kids to MOPS -- which wasn't canceled -- because I was bringing food and a Secret Santa gift. I did not say an obscenity after I smashed my elbow on the new DVD stand my husband built for my car. I did not have the uncooked french toast casserole leak on my passenger seat down onto the backseat floor. And the person receiving my Secret Santa gift wasn't not there. I did not have all of these things happen on a day when I was working on less than five hours of sleep.

Yes, she is a Diva.

Just in case you thought otherwise ...



I think this may be the only time in three hours she bothered to lift her precious head up and acknowledge the humans around her.



But of course I did wait three hours to get a book signed, so who's the fool? In my defense, I got the book for free.

Why?

All I am saying is I think a sip or two of whiskey would have the same effect -- and you get more for your money: Cold Medicine

Where am I?

I had a conversation on Monday at MOPS with my group and I was talking to them about something in Michigan -- and I totally forgot I was IN Michigan. I was explaining to them like they'd have no clue. My body was there but apparently my mind transported back to Kentucky. Guess that's the hazard of moving every two years -- your brain never really knows where it is located.

I succumbed ...

... to the draw of the Christmas season.

I put up everything but the tree (which I will do tonight) and the outdoor lights (which is Dave's department).

I normally wait until after Thanksgiving but we are leaving tomorrow until Sunday.

Of course, now I have Molly asking me "Is Santa coming tonight? Tomorrow?" We have a Christmas countdown but you need to recognize numbers before that means anything.

Snow!

Yes, I sent her outside in just a cute outfit to try for a Christmas card photo. It worked.



And with her snow munchkins.



Yelling "SNOW!"



Jacob wasn't home for any daytime snow pictures so his photo for the card was taken inside.



Maybe I'll add some fake snow to it.

Not Me! Monday

My Charming Kids blogger MckMama apparently has a weekly tradition of listing her (and others) "Not Me" moments. So I am jumping in this week. Drumroll, please ...



I most certainly did not spend part of my afternoon paying an almost overdue speeding ticket. And my daughter did not ask the police officer if he was a good cop or bad cop when he was writing the aforementioned ticket.

I most assuredly did not say "wine" at MOPS when asked what I was thankful for this season.

I most definitely would never get irritated with librarian on the phone when she told me I would have to either buy a new DVD case or keeping paying $1 a day -- even though I did return the actual DVD. And I did not find the aforementioned cover sandwiched between the TV and the side of the entertainment center.

So what did you NOT do today?

Rewind

I am an admitted book addict. I love to read and I can't help but adding more and more books to my library queue. Some of the books are okay, some are great and some really resonate with me. Enter Time of My Life by Allison Winn Scotch. The premise of the story is a suburban mother, disgruntled by her current life and haunted by memories of her ex, finds herself seven years in the past -- before the marriage, the suburbs and the baby. The best part: she is fully aware that she has gone back in time and has the gift of hindsight. She has the chance to rewrite her life or follow the same path. Raise your hand if you have ever wished -- even for a second -- that you could go back and make some different choices. The past is always prettier when you view it in reverse.

I'd have to go back a few more years then seven -- more like 13 years for me. Its not so much that I want to change my path but there are a few people I'd like to revisit. My entire college years were emotional for me. Where I had once been strong in high school, I suddenly felt unsure and upended. There were people along the way who I clearly wronged - or at least treated pretty badly. I wish I could do right by them. I made career choices that I wish I might have not made. Frankly, I was never cut out to be a journalist but I thought that's what I needed to do. And I will admit, there's a few boys I'd like to kiss again. I mean if I am going back in time, I might as well have some fun. ;)

But of course, there are no rewinds in real life. Plus I wouldn't really want to alter my course. This is my life -- the good, the bad and even the boring.

Obama

I hope this speaks to the state of race relations in the U.S. Even if I don't align myself completely with the Democratic ticket, I still think its amazing that a Black man was voted president. Amazing in a good way.

Someone on the news said it Dr. King's "dream" come to fruition. I don't think we are there yet but this is certainly a good start.

Day by day ...

It's the eve of Election Day and the nation is focused on change and the future. For most people, the future is this intangible "thing" that will take place next week, next month or next year.

But me, I'm a Mom, and I have to focus on today. If I start to look too far ahead, I might get dizzy.

So right now my focus is on how to get lip gloss out of Moo's hair and how to reassure Jacob that Fridays aren't horrible even if the tornado sirens will be tested.

Day by day ...

Not feeling the love ...

I am not loving my new pediatrician right now. We need to get Jacob into a developmental pediatrician. We can't get into one without a referral from our primary ped. Our primary ped would not refer until he saw the IEP. We sent him the IEP last week, we confirmed he received and still no call back. I called and said we really, really need the referral so we can proceed. Still no call. I am not sure what the acceptable time frame for waiting would be. Is this where I need to be the squeaky wheel that continually calls? Argh.

Happy Birthday, Miss Molly!

It is hard to believe that four years ago, I was in the hospital after having given birth to a teeny little baby girl named Molly. She was 4.5 pounds, much bigger than we expected her to be at 32 weeks, but still so tiny.



She spent two weeks in the hospital learning to eat and breathe; growing bigger; and generally learning to acclimate to world she was not supposed to be in yet. If I look closely at her heels, I can see the tiny scars from the daily glucose pricks in the NIMN.

We were blessed that her stay at the hospital was so short. Her first year was a bit rough with various illnesses as she built up her immune system. But today you'd never know she was a preemie. She's healthy, happy and full of life.

Happy Birthday Miss Moo. Mommy loves you!



P.S. This post is two days late but we were partying it up this weekend. ;)

Happy Halloween!

One is the loneliest number ...

As a parent of a special needs child, I often find myself feeling like I am the ONLY one going through a struggle. I think its a common feeling amongst people but its magnified for parents of special needs kids -- whatever the special need may be. So I often find comfort when I hear about or talk to other parents going through their own issues. It might not be the same as ours, but there's comfort in the commonality.

Today we had behavior assessment plan meeting as an addendum to Jacob's IEP. I think it went well. Nothing earth shattering. We firmed up our plan of action within the classroom to make school successful for him. We are hoping to get the teachers an aide to help Jacob especially in the mornings when he seems most agitated or anxious.

Near the end of the meeting, two of the attendees had to leave to attend another IEP meeting. I found comfort in knowing its not just us going through the process. I mean I know its not just us but sometimes the concrete reminders are nice. We spent so much of last year feeling isolated in a struggle against his former school in Kentucky.

Prayer vigil for Baby Stellan

Go here and read about Baby Stellan.

Things I never thought I'd do #2

Order self-warming toilet seat covers so that my son will actually sit on the toilet and not perch above it like a bird. Though I will say, it must take some coordination to squat the way he does. There's always a positive!

Eeny Meeny Miney Mo

In the awesome words of Kristina Chew ...

Autism is lifelong; it’s neither something that you catch or that you can be cured from, and focusing too much on trying to cure autism can distract from the pressing realities of teaching, supporting, taking care of, and being with people who are autistic.

Ten Myths About Autism

ABC News.com has a list of ten common myths about Autism: Autism Myths

Again, we know these are myths, rumors or untruths, yet we still embrace those who spread them. Jenny McCarthy anyone? Oh wait ... I mean Mother Warrior Princess of Shining Light.

Snow, say it ain't so.

I swear I heard the weatherman say there was snow in the 10-day forecast. Dave assures me it will just be a flurry or two. Hrmph. Like that makes it better. Someone tell me again why we moved here?

Muffin Top

Oh muffin top, oh muffin top
Oh cursed, cursed belly flop.

Where once my abs were made of steel,
now they are like pudding left to congeal.

Fall pictures

Taken by the fabulous Danielle. Email me if you want her contact information. She does awesome work.

I am on a roll ...

Another great quote from Jim Sinclair in his outline of the presentation he gave at the 1993 International Conference on Autism in Toronto.

Autism isn't something a person has, or a "shell" that a person is trapped inside. There's no normal child hidden behind the autism. Autism is a way of being. It is pervasive; it colors every experience, every sensation, perception, thought, emotion, and encounter, every aspect of existence. It is not possible to separate the autism from the person--and if it were possible, the person you'd have left would not be the same person you started with.

This is important, so take a moment to consider it: Autism is a way of being. It is not possible to separate the person from the autism.

Therefore, when parents say,

"I wish my child did not have autism,"

what they're really saying is,

"I wish the autistic child I have did not exist, and I had a different (non-autistic) child instead."

Read that again. This is what we hear when you mourn over our existence. This is what we hear when you pray for a cure. This is what we know, when you tell us of your fondest hopes and dreams for us: that your greatest wish is that one day we will cease to be, and strangers you can love will move in behind our faces.

Circle Queen

I saw this quote from the TV show House, M.D. in reference to how most of the world views autism (thanks in part to Autism Speaks and Jenny "Warrior Mom" McCarthy):

“Spoken like a true circle queen. See, skinny, socially privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle around themselves. Everyone inside the circle is normal. Everyone outside the circle needs to be beaten, broken, and reset, so they can be brought back into the circle. Failing that, they should be institutionalized. Or worse — pitied.”

How true, how true. We are so worried about making people fit in. There's no room for differences. And when they show up, we are hell bent on making them disappear.

What's your agenda?

Everyone has an agenda.

A local coffee shop is giving away a free drink every day this week. Its a nice treat for customers. But it comes with an agenda. Get people in for the free drinks and hopefully they'll come back.

The same goes for politics. Draw people in with your rhetoric and hopefully they'll vote for you in November.

Of course, if you buy into their agenda, you are right. If you don't, watch out.

So sweet

My friend Danielle snapped some pictures with her iPhone of Moo. Danielle is a very talented photographer and will be taking pictures of both kids on Friday -- with her real camera. As for these shots, Moo was already wearing the dress and I loved the look with the pumpkins. Its so Moo.

Heart

I found this quote on another blog and I love it.

"Birth is just the first of countless times we will confront the fear of the unknown for the love of the child." Peggy O’Mara

I don't know if there is a truer statement about having children. Children force us to confront fear every day some small - will they fall and hurt themselves as they learn to walk? - and some big - will they be content in their future lives? The big bad boogeyman seems to lurk behind ever corner.

The unknowns are overwhelming at times. I think I most fear them at night when the kids are laying next to me at bed. When they sleep, they look the most innocent and the most fragile. I wish I could keep them there forever -- warm and safe next to me.

On a lighter note ...

I can't get this darn song out of my head ...
Carmencita

Watching the video is like eating Trix with strawberry milk while snorting Pixie Sticks.

And yet I love both the song and the video. Better lay off the Pixie Sticks.

Apparently

Its amazing the ignorance still perpetuated in the United States about autism when there is supposedly so much "awareness". Apparently, because my son can talk and be social, he doesn't have autism. I thought that's why it was called the Autism SPECTRUM. Because children with autism - like the rest of the world - vary in their issues.

But what do I know -- I am just a dumb Mom.

No left turn ...

I have a question that bears repeating because I have never gotten a good answer: Why is it impossible to make a left hand turn at major intersections in Michigan? I would like to find the civil engineer who decided that in Michigan, we must go right before we can go left.

I think her or she is the same person who decided that all Michiganders must appreciate Bob Seger music.

Thank you

When I was growing up, my neighbor's grandchildren would come to visit every summer. Their grandson, who was my age, would ask me countless questions about what day and year I was born and what colors shirts I owned. Brett had autism and in the 1980s and even 90s, there was little known about it. There were no organizations promoting acceptance. No TLC specials on it. As far as I knew, he was the only person with it -- at least in my insulated world.

Recalling significant dates in other people's lives was always interesting to him. He also liked to pace back and forth in front of his grandparent's house. He signed my autograph book by writing "a green shirt" and his name.

After his grandparents died, we lost touch with him and his sister. But the impact of knowing him has reached across the decades.

Today, I have a six-year-old son with autism. I know about self-calming habits like pacing; I know how minute details can become so important, so significant that they are recalled whenever or where ever. I know more about the science and mechanics of autism then I ever thought I would know.

But the important stuff, I owe to a man named Brett. By being himself, he taught me a valuable lesson. Its one I appreciate even more today. Like Brett, my son is not defined by autism. That's just a label. My son is a funny, intelligent boy with beautiful blue/green eyes who can't resist a humorous story. He loves chocolate milk and hates thunderstorms. He will draw you a map from his house to yours. He loves reading about the solar system.

His having autism is not a tragedy; a terrible disease to be cured. Yes it means we might need to make accommodations for him. But I am not looking to change him. I am simply here to support him and make life a little easier for him when I can. That's what every Mom does. Its what all people deserve regardless of their strengths or limitations.

So Brett, wherever you are, thank you for a lesson well taught.

Seriously.

I got the chicken pox vaccine booster yesterday. I am one of those rare wonders who had no immunity to chicken pox. I am not a huge advocate of childhood vaccinating for chicken pox -- especially since we don't know if the immunity will be for life unlike actually getting chicken pox. But I do advocate for adults to get it especially women of childbearing age.

But I digress ... I got the vaccination yesterday. Side effects are rare. Unless of course you are named Jenifer because if there is a side effect YOU WILL GET IT. Now I don't have a mild case of CP which would suck royally. But I do have a big welt on my arm that itches like all get out.

I really thought I had at least until my 60s to fall apart.

I'll never do that!

You know how as a Mom you end up doing things you never EVER thought you'd do in your life? Well I had one of those moments today.

I was volunteering at Jake's school this morning. I was working with kids on their word lists. Well the teacher tells me Jake had an issue in the bathroom and needed assistance.

The kid pooped in the urinal!!! I had to dig a log out of the urinal. And all he could say was "I thought it would flush."

THEN (because I made him help me clean up) he threw paper towels in the toilet and the toilet overflowed. The janitor was walking into school as I left and I made sure to hold the door for him and wish him a good day.

Seriously, I have to laugh or I'd cry.

We've moved ...

We are officially in our new house. In fact, we have been here for over two weeks. I just haven't posted. Sorry. Believe it or not, moving actually takes a considerable amount of work. Seventy-five percent of the family is settling in very well -- I will let you guess which 25 percent is not. (If you guessed Jake, pat yourself on the back.)

Take one kids who hates change, move him to a new state, house and school and see what you get. I'd love to get into more detail but my Xanax prescription has run out and I have to be sober at the bus stop. I'm mostly kidding (not about Jake's behavior but about what crutches I would need to get through retelling it all).

Middle School moment ...

I saw a funny Flair on Facebook today ... The Middle School called, they want their drama back.

Very fitting for me today.

I made a very middle school choice last night that has now reaped some bad results. Yes its true -- you reap what you sow. I ticked someone off and they attacked me with a vengeance.

So what is the lesson in all this: I need to keep my mouth shut.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

10 days ...

In 10 days, we will be closing on our fifth house since 1999. Seriously people, FIVE HOUSES IN LESS THAN 10 YEARS! My military friends joke that we move more then them. The sad thing is, its not really a joke. Its not like we set out to move every two years, it just seems to happen -- jobs change, companies relocate, etc.

While I am excited to be closer to friends and family and we are getting an awesome new house, we love Louisville. Its been one of the best places we have ever lived and we've made some great friends. We love our church. We love the weather. We love Louisville. I love my volunteering work at church. Its never easy to say goodbye, but this one will be especially bittersweet.

When did that happen?

When did my sweet baby boy get big enough to almost fill the entire length of my bed? It seems like he was just a sweet pudgy toddler -- and now he is a BOY! A boy who likes to cuddle at night but is losing interest in any daytime affection. A boy with a generous amount of hair across his upper lip that will one day turn into a MUSTACHE! (Ok that might be a few years off but he is part Italian so it could be by second grade.) It scares me this passing of time. Time, which used to pass normally, seems to go into hyper speed when children arrive. I see it more in J than M though I know one day I will be lamenting over her too.

Killer sharks and stingrays ... Beware!

I realize that the ocean belongs to the critters that inhabit it. We humans are the ones invading their domain. But when I am swimming in the ocean, I like to pretend there is nothing swimming alongside me.

And then I saw this ... (don't let his small stature fool you, he could rip off a pinky or baby toe) ...



And he brought along his sidekick Stan the Stingray ...

Vacation

We spent the better part of two weeks traveling -- once for business to Michigan and then to Myrtle Beach for fun. I love the beach and the ocean. There's something magical about it. What I don't love is coming home after the beach. Too much to do before we hit the road again next week (another business trip -- we need to find a new house in Michigan ASAP).

A herd of buffalo ...

What is it about kids that makes it impossible for them to walk quietly? I am upstairs and I can hear my son stomping across the floor back and forth. It sounds like he has weights on his ankles or he gained 500 pounds since I last saw him two minutes ago.

Super Size Me!

I've come to realize that when it comes to hips, there are three sizes: small, medium and SUPER SIZE ME, BABY! I fall into the last category.

Oh well.

Hot Hubby!

Do me a favor and vote for my hubby as the "Hottest Dad in Louisville". Its a contest our paper is running for Father's Day. His Dad ID is Dad ID:1109 (Dave Bement) and he is on page 54 right now. If you go to the voting section, he is on the second page top row second from the right. If he wins, he will get a gift card.

The web address is http://php.courier-journal.com/hotDad/

Please pray ...

Follow this link: http://cfhusband.blogspot.com

Week Three!

I've made it to Week 3 of the Couch to 5K program. I had to extend the second week because I missed a few days. But here I am at Week 3. I can't say I have a love for running at this point but it is getting easier. Only six more weeks to go ...

Unstrange Minds

New book to read: Unstrange Minds by Roy Richard Grinker.

A basic summary:

How did autism shift from being a rare disorder, occurring in 3 in 10,000 people to an "epidemic," occurring in 1 in 166 people? UNSTRANGE MINDS: Remapping the World of AUTISM, a global study of autism by Roy Richard Grinker, an anthropologist and father of a child with autism, answers this question.

About the title:

I like to think that this is what is happening to people with autism. As the general public learns to understand and appreciate people with autism, the autistic person is no longer strange or foreign. He or she is, instead, unstrange.

Amen, Roy. Amen! Placing a request for it at my library immediately.

Green the Vaccine

I really, really like Kristina Chew. She articulates my thoughts so much better than I ever could.

Check out:

http://www.autismvox.com/change-the-schedule and http://www.autismvox.com/the-rallying-of-the-green/

I love this paragraph:

Somewhere in the not too distant past, those who were the “antivaxers” or “anti-vaccine advocates” started to characterize themselves as “pro-vaccine-safety advocates.” As Mike Stanton notes, the organizers of the Green Our Vaccines rally sound like their old anti-vaccine selves. But “pro” has positive overtones: Better to be for something and who can object to making things—vaccines—safe? (In the abortion debate, it’s “pro-choice” and “pro-life”—-who wants to be “anti-life” or “anti-choice”?)

Hockeytown

I know it may be hard for some to understand the excitement about the Detroit Red Wings winning the Stanley Cup. Its just a silly cup won by a hockey team. And while the fans don't gain anything from material from the win, we certainly gain something emotionally. In a year where most of the stories of Detroit have been about murders and mayoral scandals, its nice to have something positive. Its nice to show the world we about more than just that.

We are Hockeytown.

Is it wrong?

I know, I do complain too much. But isn't a blog a place where you can be utterly selfish and self-consumed?

So here's my complaint -- or rather my series of questions: Why is the sound of the shower or bath running an instant call to my daughter? Is it Pavlovian? Why does she drop whatever she is doing to run into my bathroom? Why does she think I need company in there? Or a running dialog of what I am doing? Why does she need to sit rightnext to the tub when there is an acre of space around her? Why does she think I want her to splash me or throw things in the tub? Or press her self against the shower door?

If you can explain this to me, I would be eternally indebted to you.

Seriously

If I am going to stay up to 1 a.m., the least they could have done was win.

Stanley Cup

The Detroit Red Wings are playing the Pittsburgh Pirates in the Stanley Cup Finals. I always get nervous when a hometown team is in a big game -- even if I hardly follow them all year. I am going to have a hard time falling asleep I will be so nerved up, LOL.

A little personal tidbit: My husband almost proposed to me at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto by placing my ring in the Stanley Cup. I kinda ruined it though, LOL. That's a story for another day.

Growing Kids God's Way

Let me preface by saying, I love my church. I really do. But like any relationship, there are times when we disagree. Gary Ezzo and his Growing Kids Gods Way is one such instance. My church supports and encourages his teachings. I abhor them.

Ezzo and his wife are under the impression that their program is the only program for Christian parents. They go so far as to assert that if you don't use their program you are not a true Christian and therefore will not raise true Christians. They misuse Scripture to fit their ideals. That alone is frightening in its totalitarian attitude. But even more frightening is their lack of authentic medical advice (for example, they discourage on-demand feeding and encourage a rigid feeding schedule). There ahve been reported cases of Failure to Thrive amongst babies subject to their teachings.

The Ezzos have been dropped from two churches, their publishing company and even Focus on the Family has distanced themselves.

If you want more information on the Ezzos check out this report from the Christian Research Institute: http://www.equip.org/site/c.muI1LaMNJrE/b.2721925/k.B464/DG233.htm

I already burned some bridges two years ago when I sent an email to the head of the Children's Ministries about the GKGW programs. This July, they are coming to the church to teach their misguided parenting classes. I am not sure what I will do -- write another letter or just let my refusal to attend be my answer.